Find Your Connection in 2013!!

This past Saturday night, my wife and I took our 4 kids out to dinner and a movie as our own personal "Year in Review".  After we tortured our kids by making put their phones and other electronic devices in the middle of the table, we actually had a nice discussion about everything that happened in 2012.  From birthdays to family trips to other milestones, it was nice to see how far we have come in the past year as we look forward to what 2013 has in store for us.

Since then, I have been thinking about the upcoming year and what I can do to make it even better.  If you have turned on a TV in the past couple weeks, you have undoubtedly seen many commercials giving you plenty of ideas on how to make 2013 a great year.  From weight loss to fitness to organization to productivity, there are endless number of ways for you to improve yourself and the world around you.  I have to admit that I am a sucker for this type of stuff and even bought an entire self improvement kit from the website http://www.kickstarttheyear.com/ (it's really good stuff, by the way).

My only suggestion to you on how to improve yourself in the upcoming year goes back to the original purpose of the Live As If Blog -- FIND A CONNECTION!!  Finding a connection could mean different things to different people.  It could mean finding a connection between you and a loved one, you and God or even you and yourself.  The only common them between all of these connections is YOU!

I am sure you will find something to improve yourself during the new year but try to go a little deeper than losing a few pounds or getting back in shape.  Make 2013 the year where you find the true you and improve the connection you have with the world around you.  I promise it will make you feel better than the lower number on the scale.

As always, please feel free to share any comments about how you improved yourself in 2013.  It's been a great and rewarding experience writing the Live As If Blog in 2012.  We hope you have found it interesting and helpful.

All the best to you and your family in 2013.

Regards,
Steven and Craig

You are what you think

By paying attention to the way you feel, and then choosing thoughts that feel the very best, you are managing your own vibration, which means you are controlling your own point of attraction — which means you are creating your own reality. It's such a wonderful thing to realize that you can create your own reality without sticking your nose in everybody else's, and that the less attention you give to everybody else's reality, the purer your vibration is going to be — and the more you are going to be pleased with what comes to you.

--- Abraham Hicks

The Newtown Tragedy - How do we move on?

This blog has always been about connection.  Connection to an energy, a God but most importantly, to each other.  Even if you don't have any personal connection to anybody effected by the senseless tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut last Friday, all of our hearts are a little broken because of it.  Since Friday, I can't stop thinking about the victims and their families.  I can't stop reading about those 20 beautiful children and thinking about the lives they would and should have lived.  I also can't stop this feeling of helplessness since there is absolutely nothing any of us can do to make things any better.  But then again, maybe there is...

During the past few days, I have listened to many interviews from people with different perspectives but the common theme is that they all say how they acted differently following the tragedy.  They hugged their loved ones a little more, they were a little nicer to people, one reporter from NBC even let his kids have ice cream for breakfast.

I think President Obama said it beautifully at the Newtown Vigil, "For those of us who remain, let us find the strength to carry on, and make our country worthy of their memory."  The real question is what does "worthy" mean?  How do we use this connection we feel to the people of Newtown to better ourselves and in turn improve the world around us?  Whether it's to read an extra story to your kids at night, take a walk with a friend or loved one, donate some time this holiday season or just be a little kinder to complete strangers.  Do something to make a better version of yourself and dedicate it to the memory of those who lost their lives in Newtown.

Since we are always trying to make this blog about connecting ourselves, please share your thoughts and comments below and maybe we can help each other get through this difficult time.  Our thoughts and prayers go out to victims of last Friday's tragedy and as the Jewish prayer says, "Zikron l'vrach - May their memories be for a blessing."

Do you believe in Serendipity?

 

Do you ever feel like going to a meeting or an event is a waste of time only to be pleasantly surprised of something that happens there?  That in a nutshell is "Serendipity" (I also know it's a delicious ice cream restaurant in New York and Miami Beach but let's try to stay focused).  The official definition of "serendipity" by Dictionary.com is "an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident."  If you think about it, this definition sounds just like the definition of "luck" except that the word "aptitude" makes it seem like it's an ability that one can possess.

This past week, I attended a conference in Baltimore called The General Assembly put on by The Jewish Federations of North America (JFNA).  The General Assembly's mission is to bring together all the organizations in the Jewish world that are helping take care of the needy in our communities, in Israel and around the world.  Although it was great to see friends and listen to great speakers, I often thought of why was I there and did I really need to be away from my family and business.

Then Serendipity happened.  I was walking around the Baltimore Inner Harbor trying to grab lunch where the Dolphins game would be on TV and I ran into some friends of mine who I ended up having lunch with.  I then was supposed to have dinner with a big group of friends but ended up only being 3 female friends and I.  My fear was that this would be a long dinner talking about shoes but it ended up being a very meaningful conversation about life and spirituality.  The next night, I went to a dinner with other participants from Miami and the only seat left was next to one of the Rabbis of our community which led to a great conversation about our day schools.  The next day, I went to a session on politics and ended up sitting next to two college students who I was able to help out with some contacts for a job in Washington.  I felt great that these moments kept happening so I started a mission to create those moments instead of just waiting for them. 

If you went into every conversation, meeting or meal believing that something good was going to come from it, you will be pleasantly surprised that something good will come but not because you are lucky or serendipitous, but because you made it happen.

This is what the Live As If blog is all about.  Live your life as though there is some connection or higher power guiding us and you will live a much more meaningful and fulfilling life.  Please comment below regarding serendipitous moments you have had.  Now let's go have Serendipity Ice Cream!

Editors Note:  Many people have commented that they enjoy reading our blog and that they would like to write a post.  This blog was meant to be a conversation so if you would like to write a post, please let Craig or I know.

Is Lance Armstrong is a liar and a fraud, or is he an inspiration to millions of people?

I love a great bike ride, just like the rest of you I'm sure. I get up insanely early just so I can ride with the least amount of traffic and to be home by 6:15am to wake the kids for school. I get dressed in the dark into my riding bib shorts and multi-colored cycling jersey with defeat socks and Specialized Pro road shoes. I put on my helmet and gloves and make sure the lights (two on the back and front are charged and working well). At this point I usually think to myself that I’m glad my wife is still sleeping so I do not have to hear her laughing at me again for the outfit I wear on my bike.

But I love to ride and like millions of people around the world, looked to Lance Armstrong as the American ambassador to the world of cycling. We denied the reports, said they’re just jealous that he won seven (count them…. seven) Tour De France victories. We supported him even though there were rumors of doping and rode along anyway.

Lance Armstrong became one of the two or three most transcendent American sports stars of our generation despite the fact that hardly anyone in America cares at all about cycling. The ratio of passionate Lance Armstrong fans to people who have ever actually watched Lance Armstrong race except for maybe a few minutes during the Tour de France is just crazily out of whack, but in America it's almost definitely the case that more people have seen Lance Armstrong commercials than have seen Lance Armstrong compete. Which is all just to state the obvious, that it was his story that made him a superstar: his comeback from near-fatal cancer, the hope he offered other cancer patients, his charitable work through the Livestrong Foundation, the yellow bracelets, the sense of larger purpose? Cycling wasn't the cause here so much as the arbitrary venue in which the cause could prove itself noteworthy. He could be broadcast as pure information, or whatever the emotional equivalent of information is. He was a hero of feeling, not a hero of sports.

I want to write: "I would rather be devastated by the truth than comforted by a lie" and be able to believe it. But that's easy to say when you're outside the drift of the regular world, writing away on our little blog as I wonder what the sports fanatic as well as the cancer survivors are saying.

Lance Armstrong may be a liar, and a fraud, and is an inspiration to millions of people, and the trees in the north have begun to change their leaves, and basketball season has just begun….

 How will situations like this effect or change your life? Or will it?

What is your TED talk?

I am sure that at some time or another, somebody has sent you a TED talk video. TED (http://www.ted.com/)  is an organization that puts on amazing speaking events across the world of people who are truly making a difference in their communities.  Their tagline of "Ideas worth spreading" gives you a sense of what their mission is.  From technology to science to entertainment to business to global issues and everything in between, these TED talks highlight how one individual can impact the world.  If you have never seen a TED talk, click on the 2012 highlight video below.

 

Anyways, now that you are fully motivated by the TED video, let me get to my point.  The other day, I went to the TEDxMIA event which is put on by people in South Florida who just want to share what the people in our community are doing to have an impact on our world.  The interesting thing is that the TEDx events are not planned by the national TED organization but have blossomed to several 1000 cities as you can see from the map to the right.

Our TEDxMIA event was amazing and had a wide range of speakers from a Peter Coleman, a researcher of political conflict to Leisha John, an environment sustainability director to Neil Hammerschlag, a marine biologist who is saving sharks. 

While I was sitting there, the following thought kept coming to my mind:

WHAT WOULD MY TED TALK BE ABOUT?

There is nothing inherently special about these people on the stage or on any TED stage except that they had an idea that is making a positive impact.  Can't we all do that?  In my humble opinion, I would say YES!  The hard part is figuring out what the idea would be.

As I thought more about it, I realized that our idea doesn't have to create world peace or cure cancer but that any idea, no matter how small, can have a positive impact on our world.  The issue we have is that we don't set the time to think about what our one great idea would be but that is all about to change right now.

So, Congratulations!  You have been selected to share your one great idea with the world or at least the readers of this blog.  This is important so we are counting on you.  Talk with your family and friends to let them know that you have been given this responsibility and you are not taking it lightly.  Also feel free to share with others since we are counting on everybody to do their share.

The stage is set, the spotlight is on you and the audience is waiting to hear your one great idea.  Ready, Set, Go!!

A Life In Balance

John F. Barnes referrers to the left and right brain as channel 5 and Channel 3. He says we should live a balanced life where the right and left brain work together equally and efficiently and often times when the left brain takes over we should change the channel from 5 to 3.

I have always thought of the channel 5 as noise. Or the snow you might see on a channel not broadcasting. You know what I’m talking about. It’s the chatter in your head when you’re trying to sit quietly, the grocery list of things you need to accomplish before 9am or the constant voices talking back in forth in your head. Sometimes you just want to say Shut up!!!!!

Easier said than done, isn’t it? So then just how do you get those voices to quiet down? How do you “change channels”?

My desire to live a balanced life is great, and know that the more balanced I feel, the more free I feel. But what does it mean to be balanced? To me, it means that you have a handle on the various elements in my life and I don’t feel that my heart or mind is being pulled too hard in any direction. More often than not, I feel calm, grounded, clear-headed, centered and motivated.

Tiny Buddha refers to the following for balance.
1) Internal (Mind, Heart, Health)
 ◦Mind: Challenging yourself intellectually vs. creating opportunities for your mind to rest
 ◦Heart: Giving love vs. receiving love
 ◦Health: Eating, drinking, exercising properly vs. resting and treating yourself to some extra yummies

2) External (Work, Social, Family, Fun)
 ◦Work: Pushing yourself to achieve goals vs. seeing the bigger picture and enjoying the ride
 ◦Social: Satisfying your social desires vs. taking time for yourself
 ◦Family: Fulfilling your familial responsibilities vs. creating healthy boundaries
 ◦Fun: Allocating time for things you enjoy doing vs. making sure you don’t overdo it

Both ends of each spectrum are actually quite positive; but if either side is taken to an extreme, something that is intended to be positive can end up being detrimental or unbalanced.

If you feel pulled too far in any one direction and uneasy about it, these steps may help you get your life aligned:

1. Acknowledge: Take some time to really look at your life, your state of mind, and how you’re feeling. Be honest with yourself and notice the areas of your life that you’re neglecting.

2. Examine: Notice, be aware if you’re leaning more toward an internal or external focus

3. Set Goals: Look at the outline to help you decide which ways you want to balance your life. Make a list.
4. Plan Tasks: Make a list of daily, weekly, and monthly tasks that you will need to do to achieve each of these goals.

5. Reflect: What is the most important thing you’ve accomplished? How did you stay focused toward this goal? How did you handle your fears, doubts, anxieties, worries, and negative self-talk? How does it feel to know that you accomplished the goal in spite of these parts of yourself?

6. Prepare: What is your inner “stuff” that will try to keep you from sticking to your plan? (i.e. fears, worries, doubts, negative self-talk etc.) Can you specify the things you will say to yourself to push you off track? (i.e. “just one more bite, I’ll start eating better tomorrow”) Make a list.

7. Empower: What do you need to remember in those times? What are things you can say to that self-sabotaging part of yourself? Be kind to yourself. Balance won’t feel good if you’re cruel to yourself in creating it!

8. Connect: Is there a person or a tactic you can use to keep yourself supported, motivated, and focused in those hard times? I highly recommend connecting and sharing your inner process with someone. Find someone who can help you challenge your inner demons, and celebrate your little accomplishments.

9. Plan: Just like accomplishing any goal in life, it takes time and effort to overcome your habitual patterns and create new ones. If you stay on track with this detailed and intentional process for three whole months, then there is a good chance you will create new habits to enjoy a more balanced life going forward!

What is your "Why"?

Now that the Live As If blog is already a month old and has a whopping 11 posts (this is #12), I often think that I will run out of interesting things to write about but then something or in this case, a series of somethings happens that reaffirms by belief that everything happens for a reason.

So I am in this program called Wexner Heritage Program which teaches 20 young Jewish leaders from different cities across the country over a two-year period.   It's a very interesting and time intensive program that gives young Jewish leaders the historical foundation on Judaism.  Now that we got that covered, the story starts last night when I am sitting in a class about Midrash.  Before I lose you, let me give the quickest explanation of Jewish literature ever because it's important to make my point.

• Torah - 5 Books of Moses aka The Bible aka The Old Testament - gives laws to follow but not too many details except on how to make a breastplate.  THIS IS THE WHAT.
• Mishnah - Over 2,000 years ago, Rabbis said "We need to discuss at length how we should follow these laws and come up with every possible scenario."  A Rabbi named Yehudah haNasi decided in 220CE to organize those debates into one book called the Mishnah that Jews could use as a practical guide.  THIS IS THE HOW.
• Midrash - In the Torah, there are not enough details in some instances so the Rabbis over time created the Midrash as a way of filling in the gaps.  This helped provide some meaning behind all of these laws that the Rabbis came up with.  THIS IS THE WHY.

If you made it this far, Congrats.  Now on to my story.  Our teacher for this session, Michael Berger from Emory, explained that the reason the Midrash is important is because without the WHY, the HOW and WHAT don't matter.  These Rabbis from over 2,000 years ago understood that point which we are still struggling with today.


In last night's class, our teacher also introduced us to an author named Simon Sinek who has an amazing website called "Start with Why" which is also the name of his book.  I also included his TED talk below which you should spend the 18 minutes to watch since it talks about how we need to focus on the WHY in our lives and companies before we figure out the HOW and WHAT.  Simon is well known for his Golden Circle theory which talks about how the WHY is the core beneath the HOW and WHAT.

Which brings me to the main question of this post -- WHAT IS YOUR "WHY"?  Why do you work so hard?  Why do you care so much?  Why do you wake up in the morning?  If you can find and focus on your WHY, the HOW and WHAT are easy. 

Please share your thoughts and comments below on what is your why and let's help each other answer the question together.

 

Live As If . . . Through the eyes of a child

Today is the first day in a few weeks without a Jewish Holiday which begs the question, "Are we different because of the holidays?".  This was the time of year when we are supposed to reflect on our lives, repent for our shortcomings and try to improve in the upcoming year.  I think that most people connect these ideas too much with the religious aspect of the holidays so they don't use this opportunity to make a change in their lives.  If you have trouble believing in God or religion, I still think that everybody believes that having a time of year when you can be introspective and try to become a better you is a pretty good exercise.

Jenna and Evan in Jerusalem in 2007

Speaking of exercise, one of the nice traditions in our family that was only started 3 years ago was that we walk home from Temple on the night before Yom Kippur (aka Kol Nidre).  Now I know there a lot of people that walk to Temple but we don't since it's a 2.5 mile walk.  It all started with my daughter Jenna who is now 11 saying that she wanted to walk home so we did.  Last year, my son Evan who is now 9 wanted to get in on the Daddy-Child Time but was upset since the Kol Nidre Walk was cancelled due to rain.  As Kol Nidre approached this year, both Jenna and Evan were pleased to find out that the weather report was clear and the Kol Nidre Walk was a go.

So we started our walk and it became obvious that both Jenna and Evan came prepared with some questions that have been bothering them and this was their chance to get some real answers during our hour long walk home.  Jenna started first with a not so simple question, "How do we know that there is a God?"  I thought about it for a second and answered as honestly as I could and in true Jewish fashion of answering a question with a question -- "We don't but does that matter?"  They both looked at me like I needed to elaborate.  My point to them was that if we Live As If there is a God by being a good person and always trying to be better, it doesn't matter whether there is a God or not. 

As you probably guessed, this conversation led to my sharing with them that my friend Craig and I started this blog to talk about this very same issue.  It's nice to see that next generation is thinking about this issue of how to live their lives.  By the time we got home at 11:30pm, they immediately wanted me to show them this blog and read the posts.

I would highly recommend having this type of conversation with your children on what they believe in since I am sure you will be surprised as I was.  Please add a comment below to share any of your experiences with your children since we want to keep the "Live As If" conversation going.

Sitting at the crossroad of Intention and Inhibition

Intention- an aim or plan, in medicine: the healing process of a wound, muscles already neurally programmed, pre-planed
Inhibition-protection, unable to act in a natural way, lack of accessibility, hindering the process

It's funny how when you repeat an educational course you gain a depth of understanding and insight unlike the first or second time through. I recently repeated a course on the evaluation and treatment of the fascial pelvis and its relationship to the rest of the body. And no, that's not what this post is about (you're welcome).

As I was taking in the thought that touch has a direct and intimate connection to our nervous system, I could not help but also think how our reactions are shaped by our past positive and negative touch experiences.

Imagine the difference in reaction to a genuine hug from someone who has been loved and hugged and interacted with their whole lives verses someone who has been held at arm’s length or abused as a child or even as an adult. The reciprocation of that touch will be very different.  Here lies the crossroad of intention and inhibition. 

In the world of physical therapy, we may ask or clients to have pure well intended movement, however pain (current or past) creates inhibition to this movement we desire.  If time is allowed pass without addressing this inhibition, the survival instinct within our bodies will figure out a way to incorporate this inhibition, further deepening the root cause of the problem.

A pattern of movement of survival will be laid on top of older patterns just to get through today or this week or this month. The end result is a compensatory movement or action which creates a whole new set of challenges for us. 

Is this not the same to emotional trauma as well? We may intend to provide a warm hug, however to an abused or injured person, this hug or physical contact may be perceived as threatening. The inhibiting result is a very raw and primitive reaction from our nervous system - withdrawal and protection. Our heart rate increases, our muscles tense, our blood pressure raises and our stress levels increase.

This reaction occurs with inhibited movement as well resulting in some form of limited function and pain. 

Question:  Could not emotional trauma and/stress cause physical pain? And vice versa?

Our skin is made of millions of touches receptors and the habitual process of life leads to positive or negative experiences and thought – yes, you can shape your future with thought.  Positive and forward thought will lead to positive and forward emotion and positive and forward movement.   Try it - when you're having a rough day, put a smile on your face.  I bet your mood improves.

Raise Your Vibration - Shape Your Reality

Raise Your Vibration - Shape Your Reality

We have entered a new era in human understanding. At the most fundamental level, “everything is energy.” We are energetic beings says Ervin Laszlo in his book Science and the Akashic Field: An Integral Theory of Everything.  The Akashic Field is the Universal Energetic Field.  The Akashic field is us and we are the Akashic field.  Because of that profound understanding, we stand at a turning point in human development.

You might say, ''I don’t have time to think about vibration, or I have way too much to do today rather than think about staying centered, or you might just say this vibration stuff is all hocus-pocus.”  I beg to differ…

Everything vibrates. One of the essential truths of physics is that most of what we consider to be solid matter is in fact loosely grouped particles hovering in space. Think of matter’s basic building block: the atom. Electrons whiz around their center with enough energy to push or pull at other atoms. While these electrons move, the atom hums with a vibration that reflects the constant energy of the tiny particles. With that in mind, it should not be too much of a stretch to imagine our own bodies constantly humming with a vibrational energy. Even the frequency of this energy can be observed by scientific instruments and measured in Megahertz.

Studies have shown that illnesses enter the body when its frequency lowers below healthy thresholds. According to research by Bruce Tainio and subsequent studies, the healthy human body vibrates at a rate somewhere between 62 MHz and 68 MHz. A person with the common cold or flu has an average vibration of 58 MHz. The point at which cancer begins to develop in the body is at 42 MHz.

Still reading? Good.

What’s next for us? How to we vibrate close to our core?  How do we raise our vibration?

Practice. Meditate, chant, sing, dance…. Vibrate close to the core and above all, have belief.  Belief that this type of energetic existence can and WILL be achieved in your day to day life.

There is no one or set path. You will have to put forth the effort to find your path, the path that you connect with. Know that there will be detours and there will be road blocks. Try not to force your way through them. Rather place gentle pressure/energy toward the thing blocking your path and wait.  Wait until the resistance is gone or your mind and body guides you to where your next step will be. Follow and listen to your intuition and before you know it you are connected to you central core and your vibration has been elevated.

Where is my Yellow Brick Road?

One of the most iconic images in movie history is that of the Yellow Brick Road from "The Wizard of Oz".  Except for the whole Wicked Witch coming after you part, wouldn't it be nice if we had our own Yellow Brick Road (YBR) in our lives?  Would we act differently?  If we realized that we were off our YBR, what steps would we take to get back on track?

This idea is not all together a new one.  In Jewish tradition, there are prayers that we say every morning.  One prayer the speaks to me is where we thank G-d for guiding us on our path.  Whether you believe in the idea that we each have our own individual paths, I think we could all agree that it would be nice if we did.  Even Fidelity Bank liked this idea with their commercials showing people finding their green path to retirement security.

The reason I thought of this idea on the day before Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year, is because on tomorrow night when the Yom Kippur is over and the final shofar blast is sounded, we get a clean slate.  A chance to start over.  A chance to achieve our goals.  A chance to mend broken relationships.  In the famous words of Lloyd Christmas from "Dumb and Dumber" when he finds out that he has a one in a million chance with Mary Swanson, "So you're saying there's a chance."

If you are sitting in temple on Yom Kippur tomorrow or if you aren't Jewish and don't understand what's this whole fasting thing all about, think about what you are going to do with your clean slate, your new chance to make it right.

As much as I enjoy the Jewish holidays because it gives us these life lessons, anybody can learn and grow from this time of year.   I firmly believe that we each have our own path, our own Yellow Brick Road, our own Fidelity green line, if we take the time to look for it.  Here's to you finding your path.

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Shouldn't every day be a Day of Awe?

Tracy Arm Fjord - South of Juneau, Alaska

As many people are aware, the 10 days between the Jewish holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are called "The Days of Awe".  Awe seems like an interesting choice to describe the holy days.  To get a better understanding of what these days should mean, I googled the word "Awe" and found that it means "an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime or extremely powerful."  When I think about the word "Awe", memories of our family trip to Alaska come to mind when we witnessed the majestic glaciers and mountains (see above photo).

Shouldn't every day be a "Day of Awe"?  Shouldn't we wake up with "an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime or extremely powerful."  The simple answer is YES but the reality is that we don't.

While I was in Temple celebrating the two days of Rosh Hashanah, I spent a lot of time thinking about how can I be a better person, a better father, a better husband, a better friend.  I also spent a lot of time realizing that most people in Temple feel uncomfortable or at least unsure of what they are supposed to be doing during these days.

Maybe the religion part is what makes it difficult so let's take the religion out of it.  If I told you to take a few days to think about some of your goals and how you can achieve them, you probably would think that's a good idea.  I mean, most companies have some type of retreat for their managers to help them refocus and set goals.  Why can't we do it as people?  In my view, where religion comes in is that I feel a sense of connection and comfort in thinking that while I am racking my brain to become better, so is everybody else.  Consider it a big managerial retreat with every Jew in the world sitting around the table.  If we think about the "Days of Awe" in those simple terms, it may be more palatable.

I often think that a book picks a person instead of the person picks the book.  It kind of goes along with our "Live As If" theme that some energy or force brought the book and the person together.  I know it seems far fetched but I like the idea nonetheless.  Anyways, someone recommended a book to me that has helped during these High Holy Days so figured I would give it a shameless plug.  The name of the book is "Return: Daily Inspiration for the Days of Awe" and it is written by Erica Brown who I have had the pleasure of learning from several times.  The reason I like is because it gives you a different concept to think about each of the ten days.  From Faith to Humility to Gratitude to Joy to Holiness, these concepts are good for anybody to think about no matter whether you are religious or not.

We created this blog to start a conversation so please feel free to add your comments with your feelings on the subject.  You can even add your comment anonymously if you want.  Look forward to hearing from you.

Whats your connection?

For 25 years I’ve been going to Dolphin games with my dad.  Through good seasons and bad (and there have been plenty) it’s a connection we developed through the years.  So when he asked me to join him for services today on the High Holidays I of course said I will be by his side.  You see, my father lost his mother this past month after suffering for years with Alzheimer's disease and severe Dementia.   I’m sure it has been gut wrenching for my father to witness the slow detrition of the Matriarch of our family. So I sat with my father in Temple today looking back at the years of history we shared for the past 39 years of my life and I wondered what connections he shared with his mother and father. 

I’ve all but given up with going to Temple as I rarely feel ‘connected’ when I’m there.  I have of recent years felt it is more about seeing and being seen than a search for who we are and who we hope to be.  More about the politics and the business of a Temple rather than the spiritual search and connection we hope to find in a place of worship.  I recalled a sermon given several years ago about this very topic.  The Rabbi agreed it is about seeing and being seen and challenges us to flip the paradigm of thought.  Instead of judging the lack of a tie being worn, or he jeans that the 20 something is wearing or length of the woman’s skirt of the height of the high heels, look at who they are with this year.  Is their elderly mother or father still with them? Is there a new addition to the family? Is that 20 something year old alone or with a family? How about the fact that he/she is even there.  Look at all the new babies and ones who are no longer with you.  In other words finds the connection between those you are surrounded by.  Look in between the people, in the spaces where the vibration of energy lies.   I bet if you sit quietly, you’ll find that connection comes right back to you.

 A childhood friend of mine and one who’s words and opinions I respect very much just happened to be sitting behind me in Shul.  After watching me count my mala beads as I recited the Om mani padme hum recitation (the six-syllabled Sanskrit mantra particularly associated with the bodhisattva of compassion) she asked “what’s your connection?”  I tried to explain that I had little connection to the place as to where I was sitting and she asked simply “could your connection just be sitting here with your dad?”  Simple enough, just sitting with family, as he did with his mother and father and they did with theirs a generation before. 

Gabe Berman writes in his book Live Like a Fruit Fly (which I highly recommend), we’re dying.  From the moment you’re born, you begin the process of dying.  However, if you pay attention to the things that matter, you live the moments and hopefully long years of your life to the fullest.  I sat there with my father on one side and my wife on the other.  In that short time, I connected. Nice!!!

Karma is Kool!

I wasn't planning on posting to this blog today but then an interesting event happened that I thought I would share.  I was coming home from Dallas last night and was able to catch the earlier flight home.  Since I was the last person on the plane, there wasn't much room for my carry-on in the overhead bin.  The only spot open was in row 30 except I was in row 19.  As I put my bag up, I joked with the people around row 30 to bring my bag up when they come up.  Since I was the last person to sit and they were already delayed, I did not expect anybody to fulfill my request.

Sure enough, two and a half hours later, when we arrive in Miami, as I am waiting for the entire plane to unload so that I can go back and get my bag from row 30, a nice lady came up holding her bag and mine said "I didn't forget you" and gave me my bag.  Will wonders never cease.  I thanked her and told her that this would be good Karma for her and that I would pay her back one day.  She joked back that one day our paths would cross and I would let her go ahead of me at a stoplight one day.

She went on her way but it got me thinking, wouldn't it be cool if the world worked that way?  That there was some checklist somewhere stating that you got a Karma Gold Star which you could redeem for something good to happen later on?  If we "Live As If" the good actions we did were being measured in some way, wouldn't we perform more good actions?  I would hope so.

Whether you believe that Karma really exists or not, we would live much more rewarding lives if we believed it did.  To the nice lady in row 30, I hope your kindness gets repaid and that I see you at a stoplight one day to repay the favor.  Please reply with a comment sharing a good Karma story you have experienced.

Who are we praying for on 9/11?

9/11 is a tough day for Americans.  It brings back memories of that fateful day.  Where we were when it happened, who we were with, what were we were thinking.  I actually feel a little guilty since I woke up at 5am, went through my normal morning routine of work and exercise and didn't even realize that it was 9/11 until 3 hours later.  Once I did realize it was 9/11, it's all I can think about.

As I was getting ready, MSNBC was replaying the Today Show footage from that day and I felt compelled to watch it to hear their reaction as the second airplane hit the South Tower at 9:03am.  I knew it was coming and that watching it would bring back painful memories yet I sat there and watched.  Not sure if everybody would keep watching but I figure that most people would.  Which begs the question and the reason for my post today...Why?  Do we yearn for feelings, even bad ones, that we would endure such memories?  Do we feel that living through those memories honors those who perished on that day and their families who have to relive those moments not only every September 11th but every day of their lives?  This is the first purpose of this post today on the "Live As If" Blog.  We should "Live As If" our reliving those memories provides some connection to all Americans who are suffering on this day.

After I got dressed, I went outside on my balcony and prayed as I try to do on most days.  But today's prayers were not my usual prayers about family, health and peace.  It was about those who are suffering more than I am today.  Which brings me to the second purpose for this post today.  Who are we really praying for?  Are we praying for them, for peace, for ourselves or all of the above?  After thinking about it for a while, does it really matter?  If we believe that there is a God that is listening to these prayers, then there is one.  If we believe that there is an energy or connection to those we pray for, then there is one.  At the end of the day, I firmly believe that it doesn't so much matter what you believe in ... just the fact that you do believe.  That is the essence of this blog so hopefully others can share their feelings as well.

By the way, on the way to work, I was listening to the Memorial Service at the Pentagon where they started playing the National Anthem.  Not sure why I pulled off to the side of road and put my hand on my chest but thought that was the right thing to do.  Nobody was watching, nobody was keeping score.  That is except for me and maybe that's enough.

Thanks for reading.  Please feel free to share your feelings by leaving a comment.  You can even do it anonymously. 

Why I live as if

When Craig and I sat down for lunch yesterday and came up with the idea of this blog, it came from the general belief that we both believe in something that connects all of us.  Whether it's a God, an energy, a karma, kizmit or anything else, it's a much better way to go through life "living as if" there is something connecting us rather than the belief that we are just carbon life forms living in a constant state of random coincidences.

There is a movie that guides me when I think about how I live my life.  For those of you that know me, believe it or not, it's not "Rudy", "Princess Bride", "Naked Gun 1, 2.5 or 33.333", or "Fletch".  It's actually a not so popular movie from 1991 called "Defending Your Life" which starred Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep.  The concept of the movie is that when you die, you go to a place called Judgement City where you spend 3 days defending your life in a courtroom setting whether you have displayed courage during your life.  If you are successful, you move on to Heaven.  If not, you go back as a new person to try again to live a life of courage.

The reason I like this movie is because it brings up the question of would we live our life any differently if we knew we were being judged or graded.  Would we pick up litter when nobody is watching?  Would we spend more time with our kids or spouse?  Would we give more charity or volunteer more?  I honestly don't believe that there is someone upstairs watching our every move but I think if we "live as if", we would live much more fulfilling lives.

This blog was made to explore this idea so hopefully others in the blogosphere will share their feelings on the subject of "living as if".  We look forward to learning and growing with you.

Regards,
Steven

From my perspective

From my perspective, I’ve grown up in a flash. So quickly, as if the years have just flown by. From the time I used to go to kindergarten on the basket of a bike to the grey hair in my beard and sprinkled on my head. ( I just thought it was my three daughters).  From Sandra and Tony’s view point, I’m still their little boy. I’ve gone from infant to father, husband, independent business owner and dare I say man in 39 years, all in the blink of an eye.  I am their baby boy (as I am the youngest of three boys) and they get a pass when they ask how late I came home or tell me to dress finer for work or give me unsolicited advice.

They taught me about passion.  Do what you love and you will never work another day – so the saying goes.  Rid yourself of the negativity and the societal boundaries that say you do this because we are supposed to. The universe is here for you to play a vital role within. Share your energy today so one day you or your loved ones might need to borrow some. Live your live as if….

Lunch

My friend Steven and I had lunch today and we decided to start a blog called To Live As If...

To live as if there was someone up there with a computer watching and recording all you are doing down here.  We both conceded that neither of us know if there is a G-d or energy force or being or any other form of faith based divinity. BUT how you live your life today, just might determine what you do, act like, behave like, or become tomorrow.  So why not Live as if...

Faith – defines as confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another's ability: belief that is not based on proof: belief in G-d or in the doctrines or teachings of religion: belief in anything, as a code of ethics, standards of merit.

There is nothing that says you will rely on this faith daily, but why not. It’s there for the proverbial taking. Imagine if you wore your faith like you wear your shirts each day.  you connect with it from the time you wake in the morning and it’s there if you need it any time of the day as if you are surrounded by peace.  The day might come, unexpectedly, when you might just need that faith.  It’s a good thing you have your faith wrapped around you…

Connect with our faith daily. And as Steve pointed out to me today, there are time of the year where you might find yourself straying away from you center.  You might just need your faith to bring back to that point of balance. The balance of peace and faith.