The Real Play Station

The Real Play Station

This past July I packed up two of my girls and drove to North Carolina to pick up the third from sleep away camp. The drive was 12 hours and filled with movies and Instagram posts and much more technology that a minivan could or should afford.  We ended up in one of our most favorite places to go in the summers, the Blue Ridge Mountains in Northwestern North Carolina.

You make choices in this life about how connected we choose to be.  You can visit places where WiFi is readily available for your phone, tablet and lap top computer or can venture out 30-40 miles out of cell phone range and many miles from the nearest human. We all pick what we are most comfortable with the level of connection we choose to have and/or need to have.

Hundreds of miles from home, 20 miles from the nearest cell tower, and far enough from the nearest human is my comfort zone.  I’m far enough away that I’m ‘disconnected’ yet close enough to check in with the office and family back home if needed.  It is deeply, amazingly, unsettlingly quite out here. An hour before the dawn come on so still, so windless, that the sound of your heartbeat, the shifting of the hair in your ears can wake you at any time.

It’s written about all the time, scarcity, that is.  We’re actually running out of silence – I’ll wait while you wrap your heard around that for a second.  The largest challenge I have is my children’s seemingly consistent access to stuff.  Together my daughters own iPhones, iPad’s, iTouch’s, computers, Netflix, Wii, and countless other distractions that allow then to do things virtually.  Out here, on the mountain, there are books, board games, smores and interaction.  They look for, chipmunks, skunks, deer and OH MY! Yes there were bear to watch and stay a safe and far distance from.

When the sun comes up and we make our way to the bottom of the mountain, there is a stream to play in with fish we will never catch.  The kids move the rocks around to watch how the flow of water will change.  There’s riding horses and white water rafting and let’s not forget the Mast General Store and a park that has sprung out of the landscape.  “Thank you” says the kids and I reply ‘thank you’ right back.  Thank you for unplugging, if just for a short while. Thank you for letting me take you out into the world that is always right there.

Where is your Sanctuary?

The other day, I had a 30 minute break between meetings at my synagogue so I decided to walk around.  I noticed that nobody was in the main sanctuary so I figured it was as good a place as any to relax for a few minutes.  So I sat there by myself for 15 minutes.  No prayer book, no Rabbi, no iPhone, no sound.  Just me.

When moments like this happen, I often am more intrigued by the beauty of the moment rather than what am I thinking about.  It's not often that all you can hear is the sound of your own heart beat but I found myself truly enjoying the moment.  That's not to say that I didn't have thoughts about my life, my family, my work, etc but what I really enjoyed was that this moment in an empty sanctuary happened to occur on an otherwise normal day.

As I was writing this blog, I thought of a painting by one of our family's favorites artists, Tomas Sanchez.  Many of his paintings, like the one above, include a beautiful landscape with a person meditating alone.  To see more of his paintings, go to http://smashingpicture.com/beautiful-paintings-by-tomas-sanchez/.  When I see his paintings, I often think about that person and more specifically, what is he thinking about?  No matter what he is thinking about, I am pretty confident that he is definitely appreciating the moment of peace like I did in my sanctuary.

Which brings me to the question of the day -- WHERE IS YOUR SANCTUARY?

Do you have moments like this?  Are they planned or do they just happen?  Either way, my advice would be to find those moments and cherish them.  They can be on a jog, driving to work or just a few minutes before bed.  There is another Tomas Sanchez painting (shown on right) where there are two people sharing this moment so why not try and find someone to share your sanctuary with you.  It doesn't really matter where this moment happens, how long or what you think about.  In our crazy busy noisy world, these sanctuaries do exist . . . if you take the time to find them.

The TO LIVE AS IF blog is all about sharing our life experiences to enhance others so please comment below about where your sanctuary is.  It can be anonymous but maybe your comment can help somebody else.  Thank you for sharing.

Whose life are you completing?

 

In the Jewish tradition, there is a concept called a minyan which is when 10 people (sometimes just men) are needed in a prayer group so that someone who is in mourning can say Kaddish (a blessing for the loss of a loved one).  As is with most things in the Jewish religion, nobody explains it better than Larry David so please enjoy this clip from Curb Your Enthusiasm explaining minyans (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wybt8Tyj4V8).


At my synagogue, Beth Torah, I just took on the responsibility of Ritual Vice President where part of my role is to work with the clergy to make sure that there is always a daily minyan in case some member of our community needs to say the blessing over the loss of a family member.  Since you can't really coordinate a daily minyan without actually going to one, I decided to attend this morning to see what it's all about.  As I entered the room, I realized that I was among the first 10 people there that helped create the minimum requirement for the minyan.  I sat down and prayed like everybody else and as is often the case, I think about the TO LIVE AS IF blog and what I can share about my experiences.  So here is my question to you:

WHEN IN LIFE ARE YOU COMPLETING SOME GOAL FOR SOMEBODY ELSE?

Sometimes good karma just happens in life where you arrived at the perfect time to help someone in need or just made someone's day a little brighter by accident.  But what if we looked for those moments or even asked people how you can help them in their life?  What would it look like if you were "completing someone's minyan"?  So if you made it this far in the article, here is my homework of the day:

HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT:
ASK SOMEBODY IN YOUR LIFE HOW YOU CAN HELP THEM WITH A GOAL OR ISSUE.

It may seem odd at first since most people don't make such requests but I promise that you will make a difference in their life just by asking.  They may not even have an answer for you but they will at least know that you are there for them.  The LIVE AS IF blog has always been about making connections and I can't think of any better way to make a strong connection with those around you than this simple request.  Please feel free to share your experiences by writing a comment below.

SHAMELESS PLUG:  I have made a commitment to go to minyan every Friday at Beth Torah in North Miami Beach, Florida.  It starts as 7:30am and is followed by a free breakfast.  If you care to join me in the mitzvah of completing the minyan, please let me know.

Meditation 101

Meditation is one of those things that until you do it, it’s really hard to understand why you should even start doing it. There are so many ways to meditate that it seems there is a method for everyone. True meditation is a peaceful, thoughtful state of awareness where the mind is calm but alert and begins an inner transformation that brings us to a higher level of awareness. Furthermore, there are countless medical benefits associated with consistent meditation practices.
Why should you be meditating?

Do you experience stress, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, negative attachment to people (like bosses, ex’s, parents), frustration, feelings of being a victim, detachment, or simply want to be healthier? The answer to all of this is meditation.
Hospitals, clinics, and integrative medicine practices are increasingly recommending that people use meditation as part of a preventive health care plan and to manage symptoms of disease. Meditation inspires spiritual, mental, and physical transformation, which helps regulate the daily frustrations of life, understand why certain events are occurring in life, gives solace to unanswered questions, ignites creativity and ideas, and sets the tone for a mindful day. I swear.
Fun Fact: Sex lights up the same parts of the brain as meditation. It throws you into a more visceral, non-censored state. You act without thinking. You act from a place of knowing. And being.

I bet you are wondering how you are supposed to meditate. The truth is that any moment when you can quiet your mind and connect to your inner self, this a form of meditation.
So for those of you that are new to meditation, start small by creating mindful awareness when you: Sip a cup of tea, stretch, sit in a sauna or hot tub, hear a song you like, stuck in traffic. Take a moment to reflect on where you are in this particular moment. Listen to your breath; reflect on what you have to be grateful for. Refrain for just a few moments about what you have to do tomorrow, how mad you are at your mom, the crazy demands of your boss and just be in the now. (I know it is hard, but you can do it!)

"Mercy"

Don’t give up, I know you can see
All the world and the mess that we’re making
Can’t give up and hope God will intercede
Come on back, imagine that we could get it together
Stand up for what we need to be
‘Cause crime won’t save or feed a hungry child
Can’t lay down and wait for a miracle to change things
So lift up your eyes, lift up your heart
Singing, mercy will we overcome this
Oh, one by one, could we turn it around
Maybe carry on just a little bit longer
And I’ll try to give you what you need
Me and you, and you, and you just wanna be free
But you see, all the world is just as we’ve made it
And until we got a new world I’ve got to say
That love is not a whisper or a weakness
No, love is strong, so we got to get together
Yeah, gotta get, gotta get, gotta get
‘Til there is no reason to fight
Mercy, will we overcome this
Oh, one by one, could we turn it around
Maybe carry on just a little bit longer
And I’ll try to give you what you need
Mercy, will we overcome this
Have we come too far to turn it around
Ask too much to be a little bit stronger
But I wanna give you what you need
Mercy, what will become of us
Oh, one by one, could we turn it around
Maybe carry on just a little bit longer
And I’ll try to give you what you need
- Dave Matthews Band

What does your inner voice tell you?

I have been very fortunate to be part of an 2-year Jewish study program called The Wexner Heritage Program funded by the Abigail and Les Wexner Foundation and The Jewish Federations.  We have studied the history, scripture, philosophy and culture of the Jewish people which will hopefully make us better leaders in our community.

This week's session titled "Visions of Abyss and Redemption" was taught by Emory Professor Don Seeman and focused on the philosophy of Martin Buber (1878-1965).  Though I can go into further detail about Martin Buber and his different theories on existentialism, religion, Israel and philosophy, there is a particular passage from his book "The Way of Man" that I thought was very poignant and worthy of a post on the LIVE AS IF blog.

"Everything now depends on whether man faces the question.  Of course, every man's heart, like that of the chief in the story, will tremble when he hears it.  But his system of hideouts will help to overcome this emotion.  For the Voice does not come in a thunderstorm which threatens man's very existence; it is a "still small voice," and easy to drown.  So long as this is done, man's life will not become a way.  Whatever success and enjoyment he may achieve, whatever power he may attain and whatever deeds he may do, his life will remain way-less, so long as he does not face the Voice." --Martin Buber

The Voice that Buber is speaking of is the Voice of God but I found it quite interesting how he just referred to it as "The Voice".  I guess it would be easier if God showed up as burning bush, a thundering cloud or Morgan Freeman but many believe that our inner voice is God's way of speaking to us and giving us guidance.  The question is whether we are listening.

The LIVE AS IF blog has always been based on the premise that whether you believe in a God, an energy or some other connection that binds us, you should LIVE AS IF that God, energy or connection is real.  So, if you have made it this far in this post, my question to you is...

WHAT DOES YOUR INNER VOICE TELL YOU?

It may seem like a simple question but with all the "noise" going on in our everyday lives, it can be difficult to hear our inner voice and more importantly, to listen to it.  My first recommendation would be to take the advice of Craig Cohen's recent post titled "It's all in the breaks".  It's all about taking the time from your busy schedule to listen to your inner voice.  Take a walk, pray or just find a few minutes on the way home from work.  Your inner voice is there to guide you on your journey through life but only if you are listening.  As Martin Buber says, "it is a "still small voice," and easy to drown."  Only if we let it Mr. Buber.  Only if we let it.

It’s all in the breaks

It’s all in the breaks

 

I’ve come to realize as I approach my 4^th decade of life that it’s what happens in between events where life actually exists. As an avid cyclist and a newly hooked trail runner, I find myself taking breaks just to find the in betweens. I find myself gazing more at the water in the bay and the sun rise over the ocean.  I imagine I’m in a valley and the bay is a retaining lake at the base of the million years of geological evolution we call mountains or watching the sun rise over the spectacular Rocky Mountains.   

Now don’t get me wrong. I love the feel of the wind as I crush a trail that has bested me in the past or the sensation of my body working as if all cylinders are firing together.  There are few experiences where you find yourself in full motion meditation.  Where all else in life is pushed to the side and you are totally focused on the trail underfoot or tire. But the best moments of my day – my favorite moments – are the ones that happen between all the others.  When the pounding of my heart and the labor of my breath quiets and I come to rest just to the side of the trail.

Turns out, the best part of the ride or run is the time I spend not riding or running at all. In a place between the hammering of the legs and poignant end of the day there exists the pimple perfection of a mid-workout break.  Where the view it spectacular and uninterrupted and I can take time to look in between the events of life.

Since my first breaks along the trails I have been fortunate enough to travel to places where the mountains touch the sky and the lakes reflect the landscape around them. And when I was old enough to realize the enormity of the beauty of that first mountain top I saw, I remembered the bay and the sun and the invisible mountain tops I had seen in my head.

Some breaks are as much a part of the ride or run as the trail itself, occasionally obscuring the rest of the experience. One of my favorite stops is a bench that sits on a small rock outcropping just off the trail.  It’s here that I can sit and slow it all down, if only for a moment.

I nod and smile as runners and riders pass me as I sit on my favorite bench looking out at the bay. On thoughtful days I’ll see the same ones on their second loop as I sit on my look-out bench.  The bench placed by other hikers, riders, joggers or another person just looking for a good place to rest.  I sit on the bench to appreciate what life has given me thus far.  I’m thankful and grateful for my life. It’s the moments between the all the running that I feel like I’m finally living life to the fullest, if only for a short while at a time.

As much as I want to take off riding or running down that trail head and enjoy the challenge that it provides, I know that life is too short to spend it racing from here to there to somewhere more important.  If I don’t hold on these moments right here and right now, the ride might be over before I get another chance.  And so I sit a little longer watching the beauty of the Bay from my little bench, taking in all of life’s insignificant striking little details.

A Soldier's Live As If Story via Brad Meltzer

I am proud to say that I am friends with Brad Meltzer.  Besides being an amazing author (Shameless Plug: www.bradmeltzer.com), he is someone who always goes out of the way to help others.  From saving the house where the author of Superman grew up, to bringing an amazing organization called CityYear to Miami, to donating books to the USO; he is someone I always look up to regarding how he lives his life.

As Brad has done many times with the release of his books, he sent an email to his friends and family to say "Thank You" for always being there to support him and his books.  In his most recent Thank You email, he shared this amazing story of how his support for the USO started and how it impacted the life of the soldier that started it all.  Please watch until the very end since this is the perfect story showing how we are all connected and that things may really happen for a reason.  If you have a similar story, please share in the comments below.

Thank you Brad for being you!

Getting Out of a Rut

It's been a while since I have posted to the LIVE AS IF blog and I think I know why.  I've been a rut lately so it's hard to think about something inspirational to write about.  Webster defines a rut as "a usual or fixed practice".  It also defines a rut as "an annually recurrent state of sexual excitement in the male deer" but let's just focus on the first definition for now.

I am sure everybody has felt as though they were in a rut at one time or another.  Being in a rut doesn't necessarily mean you are unhappy or troubled but rather just in a state of going through the motions.  When you are in a rut, work seems routine, playing with the kids seems routine, even prayer seems like it doesn't mean as much.  So the question that I propose today is how does one get out of a rut?

I have been thinking about this topic for a couple weeks now and looking for that inspirational moment that gets me out of the rut.  In past blog posts, I have always talked about looking for those moments of inspiration in life to find a connection to the world around you.  When you are in a rut, those moments just don't seem to happen as often so you have to look a little harder.

Obamas and VP Biden at National Prayer Break

fast

Then it happened.  I was getting ready for work this past Thursday morning and saw that President Obama was about to make his remarks at the Annual Prayer Breakfast.  I figured I could use some inspiration so I sat down and listened.  He spoke about how faith plays such an important role in his life and how moved he was to place his hand on the bibles of Abraham Lincoln and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. during his second inauguration.

Even though much of what he said was inspirational, what really struck me was when he said "And our task as citizens -- whether we are leaders in government or business or spreading the word -- is to spend our days with open hearts and open minds; to seek out the truth that exists in an opposing view and to find the common ground that allows for us as a nation, as a people, to take real and meaningful action.  And we have to do that humbly, for no one can know the full and encompassing mind of God.  And we have to do it every day, not just at a prayer breakfast."

President Obama was making a point of how leaders need to work together every day but I took another meaning that we need to work every day to find meaning in life and not just typical days like Yom Kippur, New Years or The National Prayer Breakfast.

So the next day, I was feeling a little more upbeat and looking for those moments of inspiration and was pleased that the moment found me.

I scheduled lunch with a friend of mine last Friday in Coconut Grove since I had a meeting in that area at 2pm.  My friend had a meeting at 1pm so I found myself with an hour to kill before my meeting.  I decided to take a walk since it was nice day and found this overlook of Biscayne Bay from Peacock Park.  I just stood there for 30 minutes thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.  When I realized that it was time to get to my meeting, I left with a sense of connection with the world around me and that these few moments of calm and peace were made just for me. 

Since then, it seems like I am officially out of my rut even if my routine is probably pretty similar than before last week.  I suppose that being in a rut is just a state of mind and that we need a little jolt to get out of it.  I am glad I found my jolt in a hidden path behind Peacock Park.

The lesson I learned from this is that we can't just wait for those moments in life to be inspired, we have to go out and find them or even better, to create them.  When you find those moments, LIVE AS IF that moment was made just for you because I am under the firm belief that it was.

Where Is God When You Need Him?

Tragedies like Hurricane Sandy, tornadoes in the Midwest and the Newtown shootings test people's faith and belief system. When it is perceived that God fails to intervene in human suffering, the acceptance of doubt arises.  For centuries, God's failure to perform/protect has been blamed on worshippers.  Sin, temptation, human frailty, the seduction of evil - a whole range of faults belonging to us rather than God. Even in an age that is much less strict in matters of religion, "What did I do wrong?" or “why me” is a thought that lurks in our minds.

What if we erase the slate and look clearly at the situation. Something terrible happens, people suffer, they implore God for help, but no help comes. If such a thing occurred when a house caught fire and the fire trucks never came, naturally the blame would fall on those who are assigned to rescue us. Is it fair to apply the same standard to a God who fails to show up?

The atheist position on this question is both simple and certain. God doesn't show up because he doesn't exist. But the rest of us are likely to feel mixed emotions. When you look at yourself and ask where you stand on the God issue, you are almost certainly in one of the following situations:

 ◦ Unbelief: You don’t accept that God is real, and your unbelief is expressed by living as if God makes no difference.

◦ Faith: You hope that God is real, and your hope is expressed as faith.

◦ Knowledge: You have no doubt that God is real, and therefore you live as if God is always present.

When someone becomes a spiritual seeker, they want to move from unbelief to knowledge. The path is by no means clear, however. Yet without actual knowledge of God, no one can settle a basic question like "Should God be relied upon to heal suffering or divert disasters?" Short of true knowledge, you either shrug God off for being useless in the everyday world or you take on faith that his infinite wisdom reaches beyond our limited perspective - in other words, suffering fits into the divine plan.

Let’s say that you recognize yourself in one of these three states of unbelief, faith, and knowledge. It’s quite all right if they are jumbled and you have passing moments of each. What feels like a muddle could actually be a path. Unbelief can lead to faith and faith to true knowledge. This holds true for many other things in life, only we don't use religious terms for it. When you learn to ride a bike, or roller-skate, or how to be in love, uncertainty dominates at first, then you begin to believe that you're getting somewhere, and finally you know that you are there.

Atheists base their unbelief on evolution. In reality they don't believe that spirituality can evolve. They are stuck on one note - religion is a primitive throwback - which makes no sense on any level. The history of civilization is paralleled by the evolution of religious thought. Thomas Aquinas and the Buddha weren't exactly sitting around a fire chipping at arrow heads, but militant atheists make their unbelief look like "progress."

If there is a path to God, we are asking the big questions while in a muddled state; with clarity, these questions may have credible answers. Certainly a secular age isn't going to back pedal and return to dogmatic faith. At the same time, spiritual experiences are natural and universal; they have always existed and still do, which means that God is available, if he exists. (For the moment I'll use the conventional "he," although the deity has no gender and shouldn't been seen in the image of a human being).

 

God is hidden somewhere, as a presence, in all three situations, whether as a negative (the deity you are fleeing from when you walk away from organized religion) or as a positive (a higher reality that you aspire to). Being faintly present isn’t the same as being truly important, much less the most important thing in existence. If it was possible to make God real again, I think everyone would agree to try.

Article by Deepak Chopra part 1 of 5 in the SF Gate Chronicle

All We Have Is Time - Or Is It?

If you had a bank that credited your account each morning with $86,400—with no balance carried from day to day, what would you do? Well, you do have such a bank, its ... "time."

Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it rules off as "lost", whatever you have failed to use, toward good purposes. It carries over no balances, and allows no overdrafts. You can't hoard it, save it, store it, loan it, or invest it. You can only use it one "time".

Here are six terrific truths about time:

First: Nobody can manage time. But you can manage those things, that take up your time.

Second: Time is expensive. As a matter of fact, 80 percent of our day is spent on those things, or those people, that only bring us two percent of our results.

Third: Time is perishable. It cannot be saved for later use.

Fourth: Time is measurable. Everybody has the same amount of time...pauper or king. It is not how much time you have; it is how much you use.

Fifth: Time is irreplaceable. We never make back time, once it is gone.

Sixth: Time is a priority. You have enough time, for anything in the world, so long as it ranks high enough among your priorities.

Resist Multi-Tasking

Resist Multi-Tasking

Once you stop doing 10 things at once, you can be very purposeful about the one thing you NEED to be doing

Quiet Your Mind

A lot of times in yoga class, you will hear the instructor talk about meditation and mindfulness and quieting the mind, and that's exactly what you need to do to allow yourself to find your inner clarity.

Stay Engaged

Too much of our lives, we're on autopilot. You have got to stay focused and engaged with the world and the task at hand.

Highly Effective New Years Resolutions

1.   Know Your Why.   For a resolution to stick, it has to be aligned with your core values. We all want to look better or get richer, but your resolutions have to go beyond superficial desires and connect with what truly matters most to you. In other words, you have to "Know your why" and feel truly passionate about the goals you set for yourself. Connect your resolutions to those things that give you a deeper sense of purpose and align with your core values.   2.   Be Specific.   Resolutions to 'eat better, get fitter, be happier, relax more or have better life balance' are doomed for failure because they lack specificity. The more specific you are, the more likely you will be able to succeed.   Describe your goals and resolutions in ways that allow you to track your progress and measure your success.    3. Don't Just Think It, Ink it!    A Stanford University study found that when people wrote down their goal, it increased the probability of them achieving it by over 70%.   But don't just write down the specific goal, write down how you will feel when you've accomplished it.  When you have finished penning your desires, jot down on sticky pads the words that inspire you most about your goal and put them around your home/office to remind you of why you are committed to doing what it takes to bring your goal into reality.   4. Design Your Environment.    Never underestimate the power of your environment to support or sabotage your success.  Design your environment so that it's hard NOT to do what you resolved.  Create a progress chart, recruit a cheer squad among your family and friends, find someone to hold you accountable, hire a trainer, join a group, create a blog.  Likewise, if there are people or things in your life that pull you down or off track, address them directly and set whatever boundaries you know you will need up front.   5. Narrow Your Efforts.    Trying to do too many things at once can make you so unfocused that you just bounce around like Tigger on Red Bull, not quite sure which direction you are going. Set yourself up for success and start with JUST ONE MAJOR UNDERTAKING.   Then break that goal down into small bite size steps.  Small steps, strong start!   6. Focus On The Process.   It's easy to get caught up in an initial wave of enthusiasm, only to come crashing down when your initial efforts don't produce immediate and amazing results. So focus on the process itself, and develop greater competence of the actual activity, habit or skill you want to acquire.  PERSISTENCE ALWAYS PAYS OFF.   7.  Forgive Your Failures.   Your setbacks and failures will not define your success in the year ahead or any year. HOW YOU RESPOND WILL. If you happen to mess up, lose your resolve, press the snooze button or revert to a familiar well-practiced behavior, don't beat up on yourself. Okay, so you didn't get to the gym like you'd planned.  How about 5 minutes of stretching?  Don't let your mishaps, setbacks and failures mean more than they do. Reflect on the lessons they hold, make adjustments accordingly, then tap your inner self and get back in the saddle.   Life rewards those who work at it