What is your TED talk?

I am sure that at some time or another, somebody has sent you a TED talk video. TED (http://www.ted.com/)  is an organization that puts on amazing speaking events across the world of people who are truly making a difference in their communities.  Their tagline of "Ideas worth spreading" gives you a sense of what their mission is.  From technology to science to entertainment to business to global issues and everything in between, these TED talks highlight how one individual can impact the world.  If you have never seen a TED talk, click on the 2012 highlight video below.

 

Anyways, now that you are fully motivated by the TED video, let me get to my point.  The other day, I went to the TEDxMIA event which is put on by people in South Florida who just want to share what the people in our community are doing to have an impact on our world.  The interesting thing is that the TEDx events are not planned by the national TED organization but have blossomed to several 1000 cities as you can see from the map to the right.

Our TEDxMIA event was amazing and had a wide range of speakers from a Peter Coleman, a researcher of political conflict to Leisha John, an environment sustainability director to Neil Hammerschlag, a marine biologist who is saving sharks. 

While I was sitting there, the following thought kept coming to my mind:

WHAT WOULD MY TED TALK BE ABOUT?

There is nothing inherently special about these people on the stage or on any TED stage except that they had an idea that is making a positive impact.  Can't we all do that?  In my humble opinion, I would say YES!  The hard part is figuring out what the idea would be.

As I thought more about it, I realized that our idea doesn't have to create world peace or cure cancer but that any idea, no matter how small, can have a positive impact on our world.  The issue we have is that we don't set the time to think about what our one great idea would be but that is all about to change right now.

So, Congratulations!  You have been selected to share your one great idea with the world or at least the readers of this blog.  This is important so we are counting on you.  Talk with your family and friends to let them know that you have been given this responsibility and you are not taking it lightly.  Also feel free to share with others since we are counting on everybody to do their share.

The stage is set, the spotlight is on you and the audience is waiting to hear your one great idea.  Ready, Set, Go!!

A Life In Balance

John F. Barnes referrers to the left and right brain as channel 5 and Channel 3. He says we should live a balanced life where the right and left brain work together equally and efficiently and often times when the left brain takes over we should change the channel from 5 to 3.

I have always thought of the channel 5 as noise. Or the snow you might see on a channel not broadcasting. You know what I’m talking about. It’s the chatter in your head when you’re trying to sit quietly, the grocery list of things you need to accomplish before 9am or the constant voices talking back in forth in your head. Sometimes you just want to say Shut up!!!!!

Easier said than done, isn’t it? So then just how do you get those voices to quiet down? How do you “change channels”?

My desire to live a balanced life is great, and know that the more balanced I feel, the more free I feel. But what does it mean to be balanced? To me, it means that you have a handle on the various elements in my life and I don’t feel that my heart or mind is being pulled too hard in any direction. More often than not, I feel calm, grounded, clear-headed, centered and motivated.

Tiny Buddha refers to the following for balance.
1) Internal (Mind, Heart, Health)
 ◦Mind: Challenging yourself intellectually vs. creating opportunities for your mind to rest
 ◦Heart: Giving love vs. receiving love
 ◦Health: Eating, drinking, exercising properly vs. resting and treating yourself to some extra yummies

2) External (Work, Social, Family, Fun)
 ◦Work: Pushing yourself to achieve goals vs. seeing the bigger picture and enjoying the ride
 ◦Social: Satisfying your social desires vs. taking time for yourself
 ◦Family: Fulfilling your familial responsibilities vs. creating healthy boundaries
 ◦Fun: Allocating time for things you enjoy doing vs. making sure you don’t overdo it

Both ends of each spectrum are actually quite positive; but if either side is taken to an extreme, something that is intended to be positive can end up being detrimental or unbalanced.

If you feel pulled too far in any one direction and uneasy about it, these steps may help you get your life aligned:

1. Acknowledge: Take some time to really look at your life, your state of mind, and how you’re feeling. Be honest with yourself and notice the areas of your life that you’re neglecting.

2. Examine: Notice, be aware if you’re leaning more toward an internal or external focus

3. Set Goals: Look at the outline to help you decide which ways you want to balance your life. Make a list.
4. Plan Tasks: Make a list of daily, weekly, and monthly tasks that you will need to do to achieve each of these goals.

5. Reflect: What is the most important thing you’ve accomplished? How did you stay focused toward this goal? How did you handle your fears, doubts, anxieties, worries, and negative self-talk? How does it feel to know that you accomplished the goal in spite of these parts of yourself?

6. Prepare: What is your inner “stuff” that will try to keep you from sticking to your plan? (i.e. fears, worries, doubts, negative self-talk etc.) Can you specify the things you will say to yourself to push you off track? (i.e. “just one more bite, I’ll start eating better tomorrow”) Make a list.

7. Empower: What do you need to remember in those times? What are things you can say to that self-sabotaging part of yourself? Be kind to yourself. Balance won’t feel good if you’re cruel to yourself in creating it!

8. Connect: Is there a person or a tactic you can use to keep yourself supported, motivated, and focused in those hard times? I highly recommend connecting and sharing your inner process with someone. Find someone who can help you challenge your inner demons, and celebrate your little accomplishments.

9. Plan: Just like accomplishing any goal in life, it takes time and effort to overcome your habitual patterns and create new ones. If you stay on track with this detailed and intentional process for three whole months, then there is a good chance you will create new habits to enjoy a more balanced life going forward!

What is your "Why"?

Now that the Live As If blog is already a month old and has a whopping 11 posts (this is #12), I often think that I will run out of interesting things to write about but then something or in this case, a series of somethings happens that reaffirms by belief that everything happens for a reason.

So I am in this program called Wexner Heritage Program which teaches 20 young Jewish leaders from different cities across the country over a two-year period.   It's a very interesting and time intensive program that gives young Jewish leaders the historical foundation on Judaism.  Now that we got that covered, the story starts last night when I am sitting in a class about Midrash.  Before I lose you, let me give the quickest explanation of Jewish literature ever because it's important to make my point.

• Torah - 5 Books of Moses aka The Bible aka The Old Testament - gives laws to follow but not too many details except on how to make a breastplate.  THIS IS THE WHAT.
• Mishnah - Over 2,000 years ago, Rabbis said "We need to discuss at length how we should follow these laws and come up with every possible scenario."  A Rabbi named Yehudah haNasi decided in 220CE to organize those debates into one book called the Mishnah that Jews could use as a practical guide.  THIS IS THE HOW.
• Midrash - In the Torah, there are not enough details in some instances so the Rabbis over time created the Midrash as a way of filling in the gaps.  This helped provide some meaning behind all of these laws that the Rabbis came up with.  THIS IS THE WHY.

If you made it this far, Congrats.  Now on to my story.  Our teacher for this session, Michael Berger from Emory, explained that the reason the Midrash is important is because without the WHY, the HOW and WHAT don't matter.  These Rabbis from over 2,000 years ago understood that point which we are still struggling with today.


In last night's class, our teacher also introduced us to an author named Simon Sinek who has an amazing website called "Start with Why" which is also the name of his book.  I also included his TED talk below which you should spend the 18 minutes to watch since it talks about how we need to focus on the WHY in our lives and companies before we figure out the HOW and WHAT.  Simon is well known for his Golden Circle theory which talks about how the WHY is the core beneath the HOW and WHAT.

Which brings me to the main question of this post -- WHAT IS YOUR "WHY"?  Why do you work so hard?  Why do you care so much?  Why do you wake up in the morning?  If you can find and focus on your WHY, the HOW and WHAT are easy. 

Please share your thoughts and comments below on what is your why and let's help each other answer the question together.

 

Live As If . . . Through the eyes of a child

Today is the first day in a few weeks without a Jewish Holiday which begs the question, "Are we different because of the holidays?".  This was the time of year when we are supposed to reflect on our lives, repent for our shortcomings and try to improve in the upcoming year.  I think that most people connect these ideas too much with the religious aspect of the holidays so they don't use this opportunity to make a change in their lives.  If you have trouble believing in God or religion, I still think that everybody believes that having a time of year when you can be introspective and try to become a better you is a pretty good exercise.

Jenna and Evan in Jerusalem in 2007

Speaking of exercise, one of the nice traditions in our family that was only started 3 years ago was that we walk home from Temple on the night before Yom Kippur (aka Kol Nidre).  Now I know there a lot of people that walk to Temple but we don't since it's a 2.5 mile walk.  It all started with my daughter Jenna who is now 11 saying that she wanted to walk home so we did.  Last year, my son Evan who is now 9 wanted to get in on the Daddy-Child Time but was upset since the Kol Nidre Walk was cancelled due to rain.  As Kol Nidre approached this year, both Jenna and Evan were pleased to find out that the weather report was clear and the Kol Nidre Walk was a go.

So we started our walk and it became obvious that both Jenna and Evan came prepared with some questions that have been bothering them and this was their chance to get some real answers during our hour long walk home.  Jenna started first with a not so simple question, "How do we know that there is a God?"  I thought about it for a second and answered as honestly as I could and in true Jewish fashion of answering a question with a question -- "We don't but does that matter?"  They both looked at me like I needed to elaborate.  My point to them was that if we Live As If there is a God by being a good person and always trying to be better, it doesn't matter whether there is a God or not. 

As you probably guessed, this conversation led to my sharing with them that my friend Craig and I started this blog to talk about this very same issue.  It's nice to see that next generation is thinking about this issue of how to live their lives.  By the time we got home at 11:30pm, they immediately wanted me to show them this blog and read the posts.

I would highly recommend having this type of conversation with your children on what they believe in since I am sure you will be surprised as I was.  Please add a comment below to share any of your experiences with your children since we want to keep the "Live As If" conversation going.

Sitting at the crossroad of Intention and Inhibition

Intention- an aim or plan, in medicine: the healing process of a wound, muscles already neurally programmed, pre-planed
Inhibition-protection, unable to act in a natural way, lack of accessibility, hindering the process

It's funny how when you repeat an educational course you gain a depth of understanding and insight unlike the first or second time through. I recently repeated a course on the evaluation and treatment of the fascial pelvis and its relationship to the rest of the body. And no, that's not what this post is about (you're welcome).

As I was taking in the thought that touch has a direct and intimate connection to our nervous system, I could not help but also think how our reactions are shaped by our past positive and negative touch experiences.

Imagine the difference in reaction to a genuine hug from someone who has been loved and hugged and interacted with their whole lives verses someone who has been held at arm’s length or abused as a child or even as an adult. The reciprocation of that touch will be very different.  Here lies the crossroad of intention and inhibition. 

In the world of physical therapy, we may ask or clients to have pure well intended movement, however pain (current or past) creates inhibition to this movement we desire.  If time is allowed pass without addressing this inhibition, the survival instinct within our bodies will figure out a way to incorporate this inhibition, further deepening the root cause of the problem.

A pattern of movement of survival will be laid on top of older patterns just to get through today or this week or this month. The end result is a compensatory movement or action which creates a whole new set of challenges for us. 

Is this not the same to emotional trauma as well? We may intend to provide a warm hug, however to an abused or injured person, this hug or physical contact may be perceived as threatening. The inhibiting result is a very raw and primitive reaction from our nervous system - withdrawal and protection. Our heart rate increases, our muscles tense, our blood pressure raises and our stress levels increase.

This reaction occurs with inhibited movement as well resulting in some form of limited function and pain. 

Question:  Could not emotional trauma and/stress cause physical pain? And vice versa?

Our skin is made of millions of touches receptors and the habitual process of life leads to positive or negative experiences and thought – yes, you can shape your future with thought.  Positive and forward thought will lead to positive and forward emotion and positive and forward movement.   Try it - when you're having a rough day, put a smile on your face.  I bet your mood improves.